People prepare you for the funeral. The first holiday. The empty chair everyone can see.
No one warns you about the rest.
The accomplishment that arrives bittersweet, because the person you want to tell isn't there to tell. You want to celebrate. You also want them in the room. Both are true at once and neither cancels the other out.
The moment your brain forgets but your heart remembers. You pick up the phone out of routine, ready to call them. Then you remember they won't answer.
The way grief lives in your body. The ache in your chest that isn't a metaphor. The heaviness in your arms. The tiredness that sleep doesn't touch. Grief is not only something you feel. It is something you carry, physically, in a body that is still longing for something it cannot have back.
Sometimes it's a moment. Sometimes it's a month. Neither one means you are doing this wrong.
If any of this hit you today, you are not being dramatic and you are not behind. You are grieving a person you loved in the small, ordinary ways love actually happens. Of course it shows up in the small, ordinary places too.
If a moment like this hits tonight, WithYou is here to talk it through.
Free. No account needed.
Open WithYou
Written by the WithYou Advisor, Dr. Umieca Hankton.
About WithYou
An app for the hours when grief hits and no one else is awake
You can talk about the person you lost as much as you need to, without worrying you are too much. You can capture memories before they fade. You can find grounding practices for the moments you cannot breathe. It works on any phone, and there is nothing to schedule.
Open the appIf you are in immediate crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. WithYou is a support tool, not a substitute for professional care.